Q: What happened when the monkey scored the winning goal?
A: The crowd went bananas.
Q: How did the monkey start a flea circus?
A: From scratch.
Category: Humor Me Monday
-
Caught
Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding. A police officer pulls him over and says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”
The man replies “yes, I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”
The cop gives him a skeptical look and asks “you were robbed?”
The man casually replies, “No, I committed the robbery.”
The cop, shocked, says “So, you’re telling me you were speeding, and you committed a robbery?”
“Yes,” the man says calmly. “I have the loot in the trunk.”
The officer responds, “Sir, place your hands on the dashboard. I need your license and registration” and reaches into the car window.
“Don’t do that!” the man yells fearfully. “You’ll find the gun in my glove compartment!”
The cop withdraws his hand. “Wait here,” he says.
The cop calls for backup. Soon, police cars and helicopters flood the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken to a police car. Before he gets in a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled the man over, “Sire, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove box. However, we found none of these things in your car.”
The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding, too.”
-
How Pun-ny
I strung all my wrist watches together to make a belt. It was a waist of time.
Thanks for explaining the word “copious” to me. It means a lot.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I don’t know if I’ll get a reaction.
-
Knit What Now?
A highway patrol officer tried to pull over a speeding car on the interstate, but the car wouldn’t stop. He pulled alongside the car and was astounded to see that the old woman behind the wheel was knitting, completely oblivious to the patrol car’s flashing lights and siren. The officer shouted over his loudspeaker, “Pull Over!”
“No,” the old lady yelled back, “it’s a scarf!”
-
Play on Words
Did you hear about the movie version of Mariam-Webster Dictionary?
It was a defining moment in cinema.
The Zingara Project 